hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
