she sounds like chewbacca in bed
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
