you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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