Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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