Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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