I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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