It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
