I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
