so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize