whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
