The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize