Dual....:-)
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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