note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
