i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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