like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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