Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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