I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
