I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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