Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
