dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
