Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
