yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!