I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
