Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
