Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
