Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
