i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
