btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
