i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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