Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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