I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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