The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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