Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
