She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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