hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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