oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
