Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
