We won't sleep together?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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