You just made me feel so damn special
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
