Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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