True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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