How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
