I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
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I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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