my vag is so smooth its legendary
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
