i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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