I think I am morally bankrupt
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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