dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
