Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You pole danced in your parka.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
