You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
