The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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