i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
two words...techno handjob
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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