is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
