his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
