Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
