They should really pass out barf bags in church
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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