hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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