You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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