so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize