i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
