Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
