you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
