Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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