I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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