I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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