elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
