I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
