i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize