I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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